Royal Selangor Club 9-a-side tournament, 19-20 July 2008

Friday night

An uneventful early part of the trip with different people taking different flights, although first Bintangs were had at 2pm Jakarta time. Chris had gone ahead to suss out the traffic and elected to take the monorail into town, although this didn’t prove as convenient as first thought given that Airasia drops you off at the Low Cost Carriage Terminal, quite a way from KLIA where the monorail is. Deny headed off to see mum and the family so we all arranged to meet Victor McCluskey, a long time KL resident, who knew a bloke who knew a bar just around the corner. And so we found Changkiat Bukit Bintang, a street we expect Rupert will frequent as often as possible during his days in KL.

Having met up with Judy and Tim, Victor’s wife and son respectively, we tried to get into the Hardrock Café but lo and behold Putri is too young for them (cradle snatching just ain’t what it used to be). A visit to that well known cultural establishment, Beach Club, ensued and situation normal was restored with beers in hand until the wee hours.

The carefully thought through plan to have a team breakfast, organize taxi’s and leave together fell into a rather big crack and no-one was at breakfast at the appointed hour. Ali and Ken jumped a taxi and sped off into the distance wondering if they were last out. The taxi driver first tried to drop them off at a golf club, then when he found the RSC Mont Kiara club with some assistance, he tried to drive off with their hockey gear still in the back. He eventually pulled up about 60m down the road but the boys were happy to jog up to the car to get their wallets, handphones, passports, shin guards, etc.

Game 1 v KLHA 0-2

We were looking a bit thin on the ground when Steve rang from his bedroom to confirm the start time as 9.15am, only to be told that it was now 9.05am and he would therefore not make it. He obviously put some hard yards as he managed to arrive just as we took to the pitch to make it 8 players. His lame excuse was that he did indeed set his clock forward, but the alarm must have forgotten it was in Malaysia !

The KLHA lads were all young and fit and certainly ran us ragged for while. None more so than Stevie who accepted a lovely pass at about centre forward on one of our few attacking moves forward and swept a deft (or ‘daft’) pass straight to the umpire on the sidelines (who by the way was also in purple, but no-one else has passed to them !).

Eventually our lack of numbers and the previous night’s excesses caught up and we conceded a couple of tame goals.

Game 2 v HKFC 0-1

Knowing it was only Football Club, early cans of Carlsberg were taken at 10.45am. This proved to be an error of sediment.

We built up to 9 players when Phil turned up and were looking the goods against the Football Club. We had three short corners and looked like doing the job but could not get the ball in the net. A last minute tap in goal gave the Hongkies a hardly earned victory.

Game 2 v RSC Hounds 1-3 Vic

An uneventful game but we did start to pass the ball around and looked a bit more organized. Our one goal came from a short corner which Vic hammered into the right hand corner of the goal when he saw the keeper head to the left. Steve decided the umpires were crap and hit the ball away twice which resulted in a Green card (that should have been Yellow after the first warning), an indiscretion that could have had dire consequences. Alas the home side knew their grass a little better and a bit of extra running (plus the early cans of beer had taken the edge off the ISCI pace), saw the RSC boys through.

It was about 2pm when the supposed Team Manager cum Beer Bitch arrived, looking resplendent in poofy ‘Mad Dogs and Englishman’ hat and remarkably unrested for someone that had just had 10 hours sleep and a long breakfast.

Game 4 v Liquorice 0-1

We at least had 9 players, indeed 10 for this game as Nara came on for a few minutes to give a tired Phil a rest. We set up a lot of good right side plays but could not get through the defence, with Deny running around in a pretty lone-handed role up front. Near to the end with one goal down Deny decided to take on one of the largest FBI’s in the history of hockey and few harsh words were exchanged (and quickly forgotten), but it was certainly a David and Goliath show for short while. A very soft, scrappy goal sealed our fate.

That ended our Saturday pool games, so a quick trip back to the hotel for a shower, under arm deodorant in large dollops, and pick up the ‘supporters’ then a race back to the pitch for the tournament dinner, sadly lacking in Lady-Boys this year, but we did collect a momento which is proudly displayed on Ali’s mantel piece.

Given the ‘family tour’ nature of this sojourn, Vic decided we needed an upmarket venue so we ended up in the Hilton with a good band and quite a few locals. A fun boppy time for some, although Ken had to do most of the dancing on his own. Eventually wiser heads prevailed and we returned to the Bitch Club where the usual discussions with imported household help ensued (for some).

Sunday

Another uncalculated debacle with even less people at breakfast. In Ken’s case that was because it was 8.50 when he was told by Ava to head down for breakfast and so a scramble to get out of the hotel ensued when it was realized on return to the room it was 9.18am with the first game at 9.30 ! This saw shin pads, glove, wrist bands, all abandoned but the race proved worthwhile as he turned up minutes before the start to at least give us 7 players to play the game. Rupert was, as is usual apparently for Sundays of tournaments – nowhere to be seen.

Game 5 v SRC 0-3

Having only 7 players was one of the disadvantages; players arriving late added to the total; having hangovers was another; having to play Singapore Recreation Club (who don’t send ‘social’ teams) was another. Strangely, not having Rupert on the right was not immediately deemed to be a disadvantage. We were never in the hunt and they appeared to be able to score at will, although their target was 6-0 (for placings) and keeping them to half of that was considered a minor victory by the few that did turn up. One goal was a ball lifted from the right just inside the 25, over Vic’s head to a seemingly vacant area at the top left of the D, when one of their players sprinted to the ball as it landed and hit a half volley back stick across the keeper into the corner for a goal. Vic and Ken just shook their heads and said “how can you do anything about that sort of thing ?”

So at the end ,of our pool games we were 0 from 5 with a goal difference of 1-7 after 75 minutes of hockey. And still they wanted us in finals !

It was about now that the Bir Beach turned up with Ava and Putri, and first beers were imbibed (but only by the Bear Birch himself). The rest of the team still reeling from consecutive defeats hangovers, mad dashes to the pitch and the shattered organizational dreams of the Kapitan. Phil was obviously demoralized as he refused to show up, declaring ‘work’ as an alternative activity with a reasonably chance of success. Rupert still nowhere to be seen. We did however find Bendy, a goal keeper who wanted a run in the outfield.

Game 6 Bowl QF v Kelab Aman 1-1 (2-1) Deny (Bendy)

We at least started this game with 8 players (Rupert was nowhere to be scene), and Bendy added bite to our bark (at least at the umpires). And with Chris Wren in fine voice against any and all decisions not going our way, our fate with the ref’s was decided early.

We did some good things but could not score and they added the one goal from a tap in. However with seconds to go, Ali steamed down the right and struck a ball from a tight angle that everyone else thought seemed to be going in, but Deny claims he had to deflect it into the goal.

1-1 at full time, so a 3 man dribble off followed. Bendy went first and scored. Megat is brilliant and saved easily. Azizan had the ball kicked away. Megat saved again. Deny beat the keeper and lobbed him, only for the usual pressure penalty thing to happen to him – hit the post/crossbar and no score. But the oppo missed again, so a huge win for ISCI. The crowd went wild.

Game 7 Bowl SF v Shell 0-0 (2-0) (Bendy, Vic)

Shell were well organized and ISCI were still 8 people only (Rupert was nowhere to be sane). Some good hockey by both teams but unable to score. At one stage Steve hared across the middle of the pitch to intercept a ball and while everyone else thought the Shell player was some meters away Steve managed to trip himself, fling his stick several meters and cartwheel across the turf. Claims he was tripped !

0-0 at full time so another dribble off. Bendy went first and scored, Megat again saved brilliantly. Vic went next and fired around the keeper to score. Would we need Deny to score (or hit the post ?), no, it was not needed as Megat saved again and another famous victory for the now specialist penalty shoot out ISCI resulted. Same crowd went a little wilder.

Rupert then showed up, looking marvelously well rested. At least we would have 9 players for the final. The Bea Batch kipt drunking.

Game 8 Bowl Final v TPCA 0-1

The final was watched by a raucous crowd, with Chris as vociferous as one who had consumed quite a few cans of throat lubrication. Both teams played well creating lots of open play and good chances to get in the D. Ali was busy down the right side and Bendy and Deny up front had to take on 2 and 3 defenders each time. Vic was very keen to beat this team as he actually ran during this game to cut off many of their attacks. Rupert was a bit too keen as one tackle on an opposing forward from the wrong side obviously cracked the stick and the second challenge a few seconds later saw the head of said stick sailing into the distance. Only a free hit given !

The best of our chances fell to Rupert, in his first game of the day – we who had not won a pool game, drew both our finals and now in the Final game find Rupert alone, at the top of the D with an open goal, poised to snatch victory from the jaws of ignominy – only to have an ‘air’ shot and the ball was cleared without troubling the keeper. The opposition scored a goal when they sprinted forward a bit too quick for our midfield and defenders to get back for a scrambled goal. Vic had ‘moment’ when the opposition pinged a ball in at Megat who kicked the ball in the air and it lobbed to Vic - who caught the ball. ‘Should be a yellow card, and penalty shot’ cried some from the sidelines - short corner given and Vic’s blushes saved !

We then had a chance to draw as Deny flicked the ball towards goal from close range only to find the keeper there, then the ball ricocheted out to Rupert who applied the back stick technique zealously taught by Ken and we all watched anxiously as the ball, from about 2 meters out, dribbled agonising slowly towards goal, but the keeper dived across and kicked the ball off the goal line. Thus ended our challenge.

Ali dashed from the pitch to the airport to catch his plane, and it was only at 3.30pm that Ken and Deny had their first beer of the day (believed to be a record for an ISCI hockey tour). We hung around for possible presentation of silverware, acceptance speeches, photo opportunities but alas there are no prizes for coming second (well not in a Bowl Final anyway).

Plans for a massage and spa were dashed in a haze of beer and ill timing, so we met at the Sky Bar of the Traders Hotel, which has a fantastic view over the KLCC grounds, and if there had indeed been a sunset, it would have been right behind the twin towers. Dinner with Vic and family, in Changkiat Bukit Bintang at the Brazil Curascao restaurant saw the meat-lovers among us well catered for, washed down with convivial ales (except for Chris who swallowed half a bottle of red coloured paint stripper on his own and was legless).

The evening ended with quiet beers at what will become Rupert’s local, followed by a few cleansing ales at the Swiss Garden Hotel bar for Rupert, Ava and Ken (until they shut the bar on us and went home).

Monday

Steve, Ava and Ken made it to the scheduled breaking of the fast – Rupert was nowhere to be obscene. With people spread to the 4-winds, Ken and Ava tried the KLCC close up but the authorities heard they were coming and shut the observation bridge and took out the dancing fountain for repairs. They met Vic for an Indian lunch, while Putri bought up half of Chinatown, Deny organized his permanent residence visa, Steve went to work, Chris played on his own and Rupert headed back mid afternoon.

Many thanks to all who attended, the Royal Selangor Club for a well run tournament and Brandy/Carlsberg Beer for the head aches.

Team :

Jakarta - Deny, Ken, Rupert, Steve, Ali (Chris – non-playing Beer Bitch);

KL - Vic, Megat, Azizan, Phil (Sat), Bendy (Sun), Nara (5 mins)

Supporters – Putri, Ava, Mrs Ali, Little Ali, Brandy, 4-Eyes