ISCI POEMS

1) BY STEVE "THE LEGEND" LAUX, essex poet extraordinaire

"Bloody ISCI"

Bloody hockey bloody team
Bunch of bloody might-have-beens
Such motley crew I have not seen
As bloody ISCI

Two bloody games a bloody week

My bloody bones all bloody creak

I’m bloody past my bloody peak

At bloody ISCI

Bloody Ken, he rants and raves
Treats us all like bloody slaves
He’s heading for an early grave
At bloody ISCI

Bloody Ken’s reverse stick pass
Is his attempt to show his class
But what it is comes out your arse
in Bloody ISCI

Bloody Rupert, Ken gives stick
Treats him like he’s bloody fick
But who’s got the bigger dick
In bloody ISCI

Bloody Nigel’s bloody dandy
Runs around like bloody Bambi
Bit of skill would come in handy
For bloody ISCI

Bloody Otong’s bloody cool
Wonder if he’s there at all
When taking stick and not the ball
For bloody ISCI

Bloody Leong’s bloody daft
No bloody skills, no bloody craft
All he does is bloody graft
for bloody ISCI

Bloody Mark’s a bloody banker
Bloody useless bloody wanker
The bloody chain, not bloody anchor
For bloody ISCI

Bloody Armo doesn’t drink
Neither does he bloody think
The bloody missing bloody link
At bloody ISCI

Bloody Ijan bloody scores
More bloody goals than team’s had whores
It bloody makes us bloody sore
At bloody ISCI

Bloody Chris the bloody scarse
His ref-ing is a bloody farce
I’ll stick his whistle up his arse
For bloody ISCI

Bloody Putri’s bloody cute
Too bloody good for that old fruit
Or bloody team to bloody boot
In bloody ISCI

Bloody Widi’s bloody hot
Perfect tits and perfect bot
But bloody shag her I cannot
For bloody ISCI

Bloody Olaf, bloody Kraut
Likes to put himself about
But in the end it comes to nought
At bloody ISCI

Bloody Ajay’s on the pills
To make up for his lack of skills
And all the women that he fills
At bloody ISCI

Bloody Ajay’s bloody smart
Is still in bed when the game starts
With bloody Red Square bloody tart
At bloody ISCI

Bloody Rupert’s bloody broke
No money for a bloody poke
Too bad that he’s a bloody bloke
In bloody ISCI

Bloody Tejo’s bloody wide
No bloody place to bloody hide
When ball’s in goal and on backside
For bloody ISCI

Bloody Dunc’s so bloody slow
Can bloody watch the grass grow
So said Ken you have to go
From bloody ISCI

Bloody Smith is bloody dour
Only plays for half an hour
Then bloody goes for bloody shower
At bloody ISCI

Bloody Deny’s bloody quick
Bloody takes the bloody mick
So I bloody take his bloody stick
In bloody ISCI

This bloody hockey bloody club
Is my bloody social hub
Lets bloody go down bloody pub, and drink
To bloody ISCI

2) BY NIGEL "THE JOKER" MENEZES (Inspiration from: Ken "Kapitan " Allan)

An ISCI Defender’s Poem

Onto the field, the defenders dart

To get in position, for the game to start

Spirits high, raring to go

"This game mine", the defense think so

The whistle blows, the game is on

They miss the 1st pass, the chance is gone

Kens not started, the defenders think

But there’s 66 more minutes of living his jinx

The ball arrives at the left back’s stick

Goes right through like a hole in a brick

Famous Ken’s words they’re beginning to hear

Louder and louder, with all the smear

"Your think your fast?’ Mr Allan asks

"Can’t stop a ball with an elephant’s arse"

"Swipin’, flashin", that’s a hockey no-no"

"Lay the stick low", the Kapitan says so

Come half time, the whistle blows

Kens all red, waitin’ to have a go

Any guy who’s at his side

Better next time, stay a long way wide

One more half, the defense moan

Those sky high spirits, now just a groan

Each defender wonders who’ll be next

Which ‘ism will Ken save as his best

The stopper flicks, it grazes the stick

The ball moves 5 yards to a forwards stick

Ken’s fumin’, he’s having a go

At the poor right back, for no reason so

The defense wonder, when midfield sux

And forwards miss and muck it up

Why Ken does not yell at all the others

Yet blame the defense for their blubbers

Yellin’, mumblin’, the defenders hear

Wonder next day, why the heads not clear

"Pay Rp. 50000 for the game" they whine

To hear the screamin’ all the time

So off to Bugils the defenders trot

To find solace, from the behemoth

Into the caring arms of Widi they go

To hide the shame, and their left-over ego

"How was the hockey?" the gals ask

"Pretty good", the poor defenders’ mask

Till the next game, the defense think

Just 2 days of freedom from Ken’s verbal stinks

If there’s hell on earth, the defenders weep

Join the ISCI defense, hell’s a long way deep

A tough game of hockey, where men are grown

"For a game that special", the defenders moan

Discipline and order, the Kapitan wants,

ISCI defense will live these taunts

Better and fitter, are the defenders’ aim

To earn Ken’s praise and no more pain