1) BY STEVE "THE LEGEND" LAUX, essex poet extraordinaire

"Bloody ISCI"

Bloody hockey bloody team
Bunch of bloody might-have-beens
Such motley crew I have not seen
As bloody ISCI

Two bloody games a bloody week

My bloody bones all bloody creak

Iím bloody past my bloody peak

At bloody ISCI

Bloody Ken, he rants and raves
Treats us all like bloody slaves
Heís heading for an early grave
At bloody ISCI

Bloody Kenís reverse stick pass
Is his attempt to show his class
But what it is comes out your arse
in Bloody ISCI

Bloody Rupert, Ken gives stick
Treats him like heís bloody fick
But whoís got the bigger dick
In bloody ISCI

Bloody Nigelís bloody dandy
Runs around like bloody Bambi
Bit of skill would come in handy
For bloody ISCI

Bloody Otongís bloody cool
Wonder if heís there at all
When taking stick and not the ball
For bloody ISCI

Bloody Leongís bloody daft
No bloody skills, no bloody craft
All he does is bloody graft
for bloody ISCI

Bloody Markís a bloody banker
Bloody useless bloody wanker
The bloody chain, not bloody anchor
For bloody ISCI

Bloody Armo doesnít drink
Neither does he bloody think
The bloody missing bloody link
At bloody ISCI

Bloody Ijan bloody scores
More bloody goals than teamís had whores
It bloody makes us bloody sore
At bloody ISCI

Bloody Chris the bloody scarse
His ref-ing is a bloody farce
Iíll stick his whistle up his arse
For bloody ISCI

Bloody Putriís bloody cute
Too bloody good for that old fruit
Or bloody team to bloody boot
In bloody ISCI

Bloody Widiís bloody hot
Perfect tits and perfect bot
But bloody shag her I cannot
For bloody ISCI

Bloody Olaf, bloody Kraut
Likes to put himself about
But in the end it comes to nought
At bloody ISCI

Bloody Ajayís on the pills
To make up for his lack of skills
And all the women that he fills
At bloody ISCI

Bloody Ajayís bloody smart
Is still in bed when the game starts
With bloody Red Square bloody tart
At bloody ISCI

Bloody Rupertís bloody broke
No money for a bloody poke
Too bad that heís a bloody bloke
In bloody ISCI

Bloody Tejoís bloody wide
No bloody place to bloody hide
When ballís in goal and on backside
For bloody ISCI

Bloody Duncís so bloody slow
Can bloody watch the grass grow
So said Ken you have to go
From bloody ISCI

Bloody Smith is bloody dour
Only plays for half an hour
Then bloody goes for bloody shower
At bloody ISCI

Bloody Denyís bloody quick
Bloody takes the bloody mick
So I bloody take his bloody stick
In bloody ISCI

This bloody hockey bloody club
Is my bloody social hub
Lets bloody go down bloody pub,and drink
To bloody ISCI

 2) BY NIGEL "THE JOKER" MENEZES (Inspiration from: Ken "Kapitan " Allan)

An ISCI Defenderís Poem

Onto the field, the defenders dart

To get in position, for the game to start

Spirits high, raring to go

"This game mine", the defense think so


The whistle blows, the game is on

They miss the 1st pass, the chance is gone

Kens not started, the defenders think

But thereís 66 more minutes of living his jinx


The ball arrives at the left backís stick

Goes right through like a hole in a brick

Famous Kenís words theyíre beginning to hear

Louder and louder, with all the smear


"Your think your fast?í Mr Allan asks

"Canít stop a ball with an elephantís arse"

"Swipiní, flashin", thatís a hockey no-no"

"Lay the stick low", the Kapitan says so


Come half time, the whistle blows

Kens all red, waitiní to have a go

Any guy whoís at his side

Better next time, stay a long way wide


One more half, the defense moan

Those sky high spirits, now just a groan

Each defender wonders whoíll be next

Which Ďism will Ken save as his best


The stopper flicks, it grazes the stick

The ball moves 5 yards to a forwards stick

Kenís fuminí, heís having a go

At the poor right back, for no reason so


The defense wonder, when midfield sux

And forwards miss and muck it up

Why Ken does not yell at all the others

Yet blame the defense for their blubbers


Yelliní, mumbliní, the defenders hear

Wonder next day, why the heads not clear

"Pay Rp. 50000 for the game" they whine

To hear the screaminí all the time


So off to Bugils the defenders trot

To find solace, from the behemoth

Into the caring arms of Widi they go

To hide the shame, and their left-over ego


"How was the hockey?" the gals ask

"Pretty good", the poor defendersí mask

Till the next game, the defense think

Just 2 days of freedom from Kenís verbal stinks


If thereís hell on earth, the defenders weep

Join the ISCI defense, hellís a long way deep

A tough game of hockey, where men are grown

"For a game that special", the defenders moan


Discipline and order, the Kapitan wants,

ISCI defense will live these taunts

Better and fitter, are the defendersí aim

To earn Kenís praise and no more pain